The Battle Of #babcom2 irc.warnerbros

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: Did I ever mention I was at the battle of #babcom2..... : I, Captain Doctor Rock, was in command of the EAS Axiom when I heard the rumor of war from the safety and shelter of thestation.com. I mused, "what times are these when raiding parties form non-alligned worlds can descend upon defensless IRC Newbies in far flung outposts". : I looked at my crew, I had no crew, where were my crew. "Damn it all lets rock and roll" I Yelled to my empty control room as I jumped around the room setting my nav-package to irc.warnerbros. : "out'a here el capitano", I said to myself as I swilled down the last of todays burbon. : We Jumped into #babcom2 in the midst of full battle, I could see the massive devestation of friendly forces already fallen prey to the diabolic forces who had disabled the channel bot and proceeded to take channel operator status. : "It's not good people" I cried out to myself, being the only crewmember to hear, "arm up boys, it's going to be a tough one". : I broke out tomorrows burbon ration to philosophically prepare. : I had still not been noticed by the attackers as they were engaged in heavy ping flooding of friendlies, and with all the abuse slanging that was going over communications I could not verify a target. I called out on wideband "Give me a target, a military target". Someone called out a dotted quad IP address so I opened up with a volly of packet fragmentation exploit bombs and sent the supplied address to oblivion. : "Haaa too easy you geekazoid dimwits", I transmitted on wideband. Then the awefull reality that an enemy had just given me a friendly target dawned on me as the attackers, realizing I had significant firepower, opened up on me with all they had. : The router lit up like a christmas tree, every twinkling LED like a star and every one a win-nuke bomb slamming into my outer packet filters. : But packet logging now revealed the face of the true enemy as their bombs slamed into EAS Axiom, they were big, network heavy hitters, ISDN and T1 heavy attack cruisers but with no stealth. : Every volly they fired at me registered them as legit targets and I knew what to do. : "Armourments, Cut Loose !!" I yelled to nobody, and gulping down the last of tomorrows burbon I realised I'd have to co-ordinate this whole attack myself. : I took a target from the IP logs and proceeded to pump as many packet frag bombs as I could fit down my 64k data line, but I could only get out 1 round to ever 2 of theirs. : The fight was on now, dirty and fast, "Nautjoy AHHHHHHHH" I screamed at the enemy on wideband and slowly one of the heavy hitters lost foothold on the channel under the punishment doled out by EAS Axiom. : Now they all knew I was there, friend and foe, and all hell broke loose. : "Get out of here" the friendlies called to me, "Get Stuffed I called back, you guys couldn't fight if if you were jolted on stims". They just wanted the fight to themselves due to misplaced pride. : I took target on the occupying ships holding channel operator status and laid everything I had on them. First Teardrop bombs, then Bonks, then ping floods, then I threw today and tomorrows empty burbon bottles at them. : Another one went down like a brick under the unrelenting fire of EAS Axiom. : The enemy channel operator was out, "Jump, Jump Out NOW!!" someone called and indeed it was time to jump out so a friendly could take channel op but alas! The friendlies in #babcom1 had shut down their jumpgate to invite only and we could not jump in, so we had to jump off server. : "The fools, damn fools, damn foollss foolllsss Crazy CCRRAAZZY CRRRAAAAAZZYYYY" kept going through my mind as I cracked out the next bottle of burbon whilst waiting for navigation to bring us back into #babcom2 from off server, a longer and more difficult task than it would have been to just jump in and out from #babcom1. : Whatever could they have been thinking in there, we're safe let them battle it out in the second front whilst we twiddle our thumbs and wait? Were ok whilst ever we keep the jumpgate closed they'll leave us alone? Cut the rope Jack I'm ashore? I wonder if it hot for jeffrey willerth in the kosh costume? How can I get jerry doyles autograph? Crazy, CRaazzyy CCRRAAAZZZYYY people!!!! : EAS Axiom Jumped back in to #babcom2 only to find, of course, the first attackers knocked out had got back in first after the "jump out manouver" and taken channel op again. : The battle raged on for what seemed like hours, my router was taking constand hits but they coudn't knock down the EAS Axiom. Slowly the heavy hitters lost grip,and we did the "jump out manouver" again and again untill, quite unexpectedly there was no volly of bombs. : There were no screams of abuse on wideband, the router was flashing quite peacefully with normal traffic. : "Is the sector secured"? I called....... : "This is EAS Axiom, is this sector secured"?........ : : "Yes, this sector is secure EAS Axiom, thankyou for your assistance". : : We had won, yes. It was over. But the cost, the terrible terrible cost. The casualties, oh the screams and moaning of the dead and dying still haunt me, to this day. : : End of test... : Doc.

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