Posted by McWillow on June 17, 1999 at 00:30:38:
In Reply to: PARTY! PARTY! PARTY! posted by Wen on June 16, 1999 at 03:12:23:
: Hello Gang,
: Consider yourself invited to a party in my room at DragonCon weekend. I'm gonna shoot for Friday 7/2/99 @ 11pm, but that depends on my roommie...... :)
Hey that sounds cool but I will be at another con that night, over in the UK. Still, I'll be thinking of you all. I've gotta wear a cocktail dress that night.... to anyone that knows me at all, laugh heartily for I an scruffy jeans woman. But hey, it'll give all my friends a shock - anyone at Starfury will have thought that I have no middle ground.
Oh and by the way:
How to Give Your Cat a Pill - by Peggy Althoff
1. Grasp cat firmly in your arms. Cradle its head on your elbow, just as if you were giving baby a bottle. Coo confidently, "Thats a nice kitty." Drop pill into its mouth.
2. Retrieve cat from top of lamp, and pill from under sofa.
3. Follow same procedure as in 1, but hold cat's front paws down with left hand and back paws down with elbow of right arm. Poke pill into its mouth with right forefinger.
4. Retrieve cat from under bed. Get new pill from bottle. (Resist impulse to get new cat.)
5. Again proceed as in 1, except when you have cat firmly cradled in bottle-feeding position, sit down on edge of chair, fold your torso
over cat, bring your right hand over your left elbow, open cat's mouth by lifting the upper jaw and pop the pill in - quickly. Since your head
is down by your knees, you won't be able to see what you're doing. That's just as well.
6. Leave cat hanging on drapes. Leave pill in your hair.
7. If you're a woman, have a good cry. If you're a man, have a good cry.
8. Now pull yourself together. Who's the boss here anyway? Retrieve cat and pill. Assuming position 1, say sternly, "Who's the boss here, anyway?" Open cat's mouth, take pill and... Oooops!
9. This isn't working, is it? Collapse and hink. Aha! Those flashing claws are causing the chaos.
10. Crawl to linen closet. Drag back large beach towel. Spread towel on floor.
11. Retrieve cat from kitchen counter and pill from potted plant.
12. Spread cat on towel near one end with its head over long edge.
13. Flatten cat's front and back legs over its stomach. (Resist impulse to flatten cat.)
14. Roll cat in towel. Work fast; time and tabbies wait for no man - or woman.
15. Resume position 1. Rotate your left hand to cat's head. Press its mouth at the jaw hinges like opening the petals of a snapdragon.
16. Drop pill into cat's mouth and poke gently. Voila! It's done.
17. Vacuum up loose fur (cat's). Apply bandages to wounds (yours).
18. Take two aspirins and lie down.
xx Willow